SunLive         

There’s always something fishy

Brian Rogers
Rogers Rabbits
www.sunlive.co.nz

Just when you thought Neotropical Ichthyology couldn't get any more scintillating, along comes a new fish species you'll be ecstatic to learn about.

Neotropical Ichthyology is the catchy title of a journal dedicated to the study of fish. (I wish we'd thought of that instead of ‘The Weekend Sun'. Too late now; we're stuck with it.)

In 1988, Irish singer and songwriter Enya released the song ‘Orinoco Flow' which became an international hit and launched her wildly successful career. Now a team of scientists, who often listened to Enya music in the lab, have named a new species of fish from the Orinoco River drainage after her.

Leporinus enyae is a “beautiful little fish,” says Michael Burns, a doctoral candidate at Oregon State University and lead author on the paper describing the new species, as well another from the Xingu River of Brazil.

I'm not sure why you needed to know this. But it's not the only fishy nonsense in the news this week. Readers can send us their fish pictures. We can't guarantee you'll make it into the heady columns of the Neotropical Ichthyology, but you might end up in our tides page and win the weekly prize.

Here's some other stuff you probably don't need to know, but will read anyway:

Thievery sanctioned

Despite popular belief, it is still a crime to commit benefit fraud, rip off the government and its even uncooler to boast about it, as if it's some sort of badge of honour. We're not sure if uncooler is a word, but it seems appropriate here.

The pre-meditated criminal act by confessed scammer Metiria Turei, (ironically the Green spokesperson on justice) is outrageous. More particularly from anyone who has aspirations to run the same country she's blatantly fleeced.

Should she pay it back? Bloody hell she should. Plus interest. And be charged and tried in a court of law. Just like any fraudster.

The thing about duping money out of the government is that it's not actually the ‘government' you're pillaging from, it's New Zealand taxpayers. Real people, trying themselves to balance the budget while actually doing a fair day's work. The very ones who are working their butts off and being slugged with tax to provide funds for such things as benefits. You'd have to be fairly thick to think the ‘government' is some sort of well-heeled Fairy Godmother with endless buckets of money to be plundered and still not see that if everyone scammed it, the whole place would grind to a halt. But then I guess, that's the mentality we have to deal with.

She's an embarrassment to the many well-meaning, decent folk in the Green Party and they'd be wise to dropkick her back to the gutter if she thinks anything justifies gutter tactics, dishonesty against her fellow Kiwi citizens and worse, actively encourages others to defraud.

Best she can hope for now is for Neotropical Ichthyology to name a species of parasitic leech after her.

Equality washes whiter

The UK is rolling out new laws to stop inequality in advertising. Soon it will be illegal to portray cleaning duties as only those of women. I had to interrupt my wife from the vacuuming to tell her this.

Child's doll charged for seat

A budget airline has been shamed after it tried to charge a little girl's doll the cost of a seat on the plane. Four-year-old Lida from Yekaterinburg, in central Russia's Sverdlovsk Oblast region goes everywhere with her treasured baby doll according to local media. But when her mum asked low-cost airline Pobeda for permission to take the doll in the cabin she was astonished with its reply. The airline — notorious in Russia for its extra charges — wanted her to pay the full price of a child's ticket for the flight to Sochi.

Vegetarians take one for team

Here's some good news for meat eaters. This story from a recent edition of The Weekend Sun: ‘More than half of the region's residents say they are eating less meat, and a third expect to be mostly meat-free by 2025 as they focus on their health and budget, according to a new survey.

It seems the days of a nightly meal of meat and three veg may soon be behind us too, with 22 per cent of those surveyed saying they choose to have a meat-free dinner for more than half of the week.'

Here at RR, we applaud their stand, because this means there will be much more meat for the rest of us!

Good on you, vegetarians. Keep up the good work. Your commitment to leaving delicious and protein-filled meat for us more deserving consumers is much appreciated. And with the reduced demand for red meat will also come a drop in prices, so when we're not shooting our own, we'll be able to afford to eat even more meat!

We congratulate your self-sacrifice for the benefit of the balanced eaters of the Bay.

News in brief:

A new study out this week reported that New Zealand is one of the laziest nations on the planet. This sounded interesting. But I couldn't be bothered reading it.

Donald Trump has been taking a great interest in world athletics. He wants to see how high the Mexican pole vaulters can go.

Today, if you add your age and year of birth, you will get 2017. Try it! This only happens once in a thousand years!

Dad Joke of the Week

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.

Comments


There are no comments on this article.


Post a Comment

You must be logged in to make a comment.